DCfC rocks!!!

You Found Me When No One Else Was Looking How Did You Know Just Where I Would Be?

'You found me when no one else was looking. How did you know just where I would be? You broke through all of my confusion, the ups and the downs, and you still didn't leave. I guess that you saw what nobody could see. You found me.

You know, its all Crissy's fault, lol. No, actually its just I saw Kelly Clarkson on my iPod and I liked the songs I heard on the radio so I figured I would give it a listen. I think that the song 'Because of You' is like, so sad and it made me cry the first 10 times I listened to it. Anyway, the one song that instantaniously stopped my sobbing after 'Because of You' is her song 'You Found Me'. Its just a beautiful song. Its about a girl who feels completely lost, like me, but someone finds her when she thought no one was looking and makes her feel like the wonderful person she really is. I just wish that would happen to me...eventually it will.

Anyway, today is December 7, and 64 years ago was a day that lives in infamy, the bombing of Pearl Harbor. It also happens to be my unlucky number and exactly three months or 14 weeks from the day Kaleb broke my heart. But I didn't let that ruin my mood, and I had a good day today.

My counselor Mr. Lorenz messed up my schedule once again. He told me at the beginning of the year that he would have a talk with me, but I guess he forgot. Well, he stuck me in Team Sports with Vanleer which isn't flying with me. I scheduled an appointment with him tomorrow morning, so we better get this fixed. I have two options I think: go into 5th hour Odyssey with Amy, Colin, and Mike Bates or Mrs. Benedict said she could use me in her newspaper class 8th hour, which I would rather do, but it involves overhauling my schedule, getting rid of a teacher I like, Mrs. Ashby, its the only class I sit right by this guy that I have a crush on, Mike Baxa (oh darn). That was a really long sentence!

Yesterday my dad called...I'm scared of him. I just wish he would stop with this whole business of him trying to get me and Gavin to live with him. It just isn't fair that he is trying to make me choose. It also isn't right the way he talks to me. He keeps saying things like, "If I die I am going to be worth a lot and I'll be leaving it to you and Gavin." "You need to start doing what I tell you, you hear me girl?" "You're mom doesn't love you the way I love you." "I will always be here for you you hear?" "You've never understood me the way Gavin has; you don't understand." "If you don't start doing what I'll tell you I'll leave it all to Gavin." He sounds like a high school kid. I mean, just because I don't want to move in with him doesn't mean I don't love him. And if he really cared so much, why did he move so freakin far away??? I just want to grow up and not have to worry about these kind of things. Thats just not fair for him to do to me. And I don't care about money. If he wants he can leave it all for Gavin he can. I'm not going to go and move in with him just so I can get his stuff when he's dead. If he knew anything about me he would know that is the very LAST thing I care about. Obviously he doesn't know me. If he really cares he would move up here to be with us, not make us move down there away from everything we know. So my conclusion until further notice is that he is just being selfish and is realizes he is loosing me. He calling me at 10-11 at night is not fatherly. If he really wanted to talk to me he should call me, not leave it up to me the way he does. I can't even tell if he's drunk or not when he calls. Why does this all have to be so complicated???

Okay...so Tom Delonge's birthday is next Tuesday! Yay. Along with that is the opening of the AVA website and everything great that comes with this grand opening!!! Ben's birthday is also next Saturday. I can't wait... *wink wink* Lol. Inside uh, joke...

I think thats about it...oh yeah. Like a week or so ago, I just found this out, Casey cheated on Nate with another guy named Nate she barely even knew. Yeah, thats bad. I would have never done that. Why do people choose what is wrong for them when what is right is staring them right in the face? That will never cease to amaze me. I myself do that all the time. Its just so, stupid. I guess that is what makes us human...

posted by Natalie @ 6:19 PM