They're Singing Deck The Hall, But Its Not Like Christmas At All. I Remember When You Were Here, All The Fun We Had Last Year.

Listening to: Stealing Science / by Synapse (techno, it kinda reminds me of something that would be on Dr. Mario or Tetris)

Snow days really aren't that great for me. I mean, yes, we miss school, but we'll just have to make it up. Yes, I did get to sleep in, but only to be inturrupted about five times by kids screaming, my mom yelling, Gavin's friends jumping around, or my mom and George arguing. My mom and George arguing even lead me to tears.

That was my morning... I can't wait till I don't have to worry about these kinds of stresses anymore. I can never just have a night of sleep without thinking I might've done something wrong to make my mom mad, or that we might lose our house, or something along those lines. That just adds to my stress of already having school, feelings of loneliness, my dad, my siblings... It just way too much.

I made this list of things I wanted for Christmas, but I don't even think my mom has looked at them yet. Its just a bunch of tshirts and thats mostly it... I figured that would be easier for her to do, and its all online, so that makes it even easier. Maybe next year I shouldn't worry about trying to make it easier on her because I don't think she really appreciates what I try to do for her...

I mean, my birthday I didn't get anything. Not that I really care anymore. I feel so guilty about everything that I don't think I deserve a present. But I've been trying harder to make her happy, I deserve to have something that will make me smile on Christmas. Come on, its Christmas. This will be the first Christmas that I get something I really think I have the chance to be happy (since everything else is so crappy its the highlight of my winter).

When I get back I'll tell you all about my weekend with my dad. I'm so scared. Hopefully it isn't as terrifying as I think it will be. It will mostly be very awkward. Later!