DCfC rocks!!!

Steven is going out with Mindi Miller now. He really enjoys talking to her, more than me, and he memorized the day they started going out, (today)! He never did that with me, he said he wants to do things right with her. Why didn't he with me? I'm really sad and I never thought this would happen. Just Friday Steven was hugging all over me! I don't know...Michael, Amy, and Liana think it will end soon but I'm not so sure. Amy says Mindi is really fast at kidding, and I don't think Steven is like that. Well, Derek is not anything to me anymore. And he made me forget about my losses! But he wasn't good enough for me. I deserve better. I hope things get better, I pray. My beloved is gone; the closest person to me is no longer allowed to be close to me. Mindi doesn't deserve him. Maybe I don't either, but who cares? He deserves better than some girl who could easily cheat on him and is such a liar! Amy says she'll lie to get what she wants, even make Steven hate me if thats what it takes. I hope Mindi doesn't come down to that. I lvoe Steven too much. I hope he realizes I care about him no matter what. I told her she better not hurt him. Well, ttyl! I love SWII
P.S. She'll never take my place. I mean to much to him and he knows it. He may not like me but he'll never hate and forget me. I'm starting to think higher of myself, did you notice? Well, bubye. Nihty. I'm gonna sleep in Steven's boxers.

posted by Natalie @ 5:45 PM 0 comments

This Monday I met Derek Olson. He's my buddy; he's 15, a freshman. He just got his permit and was born March 23rd, 1988. Steven talked to me today, and I thought things were looking up. But then I made him mad by saying 'I love you'. He says it isn't true and I don't know what it means. I know I have to let go, but I just can't. There's too many memories, too much love, and too much hurt to quit now. He even says I love you at school sometimes, but I know he doesn't mean it. I'm worthless to him, but he's my whole world. How can I ever make him understand? I die again and again every time I think of Space Camp and Spring Break. Right before he did it, I never even expected it. I love SWII. Does he love me???

posted by Natalie @ 5:39 PM 0 comments